Your Inner Masculine: Why to Fully Honor & Choose to Nurture Your Masculine Energy
I will always remember the day I first learned what the masculine and feminine energies within us represent. That day not only gave me a deep understanding of my own operating model but also shed light on societal dynamics, my personal and professional relationships, and brought me one step closer to my tantric journey.
On that day, I found the answer to the question that had launched me on my quest for self-discovery in the first place. I learned why I couldn’t fully feel my body, why I struggled to rest in non-doing, and why expressing my full range of emotions was so difficult. I was overly reflective, thinking that I needed to control and process my emotions alone to maintain the image I had carefully crafted for myself.
I had built my identity around being structured, strong, independent, dependable, and action-oriented in every aspect of my life—whether as a woman, friend, manager, colleague, or partner. While these characteristics are not inherently either masculine or feminine, I believed that embodying masculine energy was necessary to be recognized for these qualities in our modern society.
A profound belief I held was that I could only be deemed worthy if I met the expectations of productivity within my social and professional bubble. I felt deep compassion for those around me who worked tirelessly and began to burn out under the pressure, but I also felt a strange sense of pride in my perceived resilience to continue. I’m sure many of you can relate to this. But how is it that, despite the growing awareness around mental health, mindfulness, and meditation, we are still caught up in this subconscious conditioning about what qualities are considered strong or superior, and what qualities are deemed weak?
It’s important to note that I’m not shaming masculine qualities. In fact, I’m grateful for their strength within me. They have served me well, offering protection, financial stability, and opportunities to grow through challenges. They have also been a foundation for my mindfulness practice, given my natural inclination toward discipline.
I vividly remember the first session of my Tantra training when my teacher insightfully pointed out my subconscious intention in joining the course. She said:
“Many women come to Tantra because they want to connect more with their feminine energy. They often say they are too much in their masculine—as if this is a bad thing. No, the masculine qualities are as divine as the feminine ones. We need, honor, and nurture them just as much. However, Tantra can give you the tools to consciously decide when and how to balance your qualities, acknowledge any imbalance, and have the ability to harmonize yourself.”
She was absolutely right. I had forgotten to respect and honor these qualities, unfairly blaming them for my burnout, numbness, and inability to be creative, flow, and be spontaneous.
There are many factors that contributed to my conditioning and misconceptions about masculine characteristics. In Western society, qualities that are output-driven, proactive, logical, and resilient are often the most rewarded. Meanwhile, qualities like empathy, receptiveness, and emotional fluidity are overlooked or even considered “weaker.” Patriarchy, though not the only cause, has played a significant role in developing an unhealthy balance and distorted perception of masculine and feminine polarities within us. Additionally, past wounds and traumas, whether inherited or lived, can lead to a distorted view of masculine energy. Experiences with controlling, emotionally distant, or absent male figures can leave deep scars, making us wary of masculine energy and associating it with control, abandonment, discomfort, or even aggression.
Healthy vs. Toxic Masculine Traits
To fully understand and honor our inner masculine, it's essential to distinguish between healthy and toxic expressions of masculine energy. Healthy masculine energy is grounded in presence, support, and strength. It manifests as a calm, stabilizing force that provides structure, safety, and the ability to take decisive action when needed. It’s the aspect of ourselves that enables us to set boundaries, pursue goals with determination, and create a safe container for our emotions and those of others.
On the other hand, toxic masculine traits often arise from fear, insecurity, or societal conditioning. This energy can manifest as aggression, dominance, emotional suppression, or the need to control others and situations to maintain a facade of power. Toxic masculinity is rigid, inflexible, and disconnected from emotional awareness, often resulting in destructive behaviors and strained relationships.
Bringing It All Together
Understanding the difference between healthy and toxic masculinity is crucial for personal growth and balanced living. By nurturing and integrating healthy masculine energy, we can create a foundation of strength, resilience, and stability, which in turn allows our feminine energy to express itself freely, leading to a more harmonious and fulfilled life.
As you reflect on your own experiences with masculine and feminine energies, consider where you might need to create more balance. Are there areas where toxic traits have taken over? Or perhaps parts of yourself where healthy masculine energy could be more fully embraced? Remember, the goal is not to suppress one energy in favor of the other, but to create a beautiful dance between them, allowing both to coexist in harmony.
As I continue to honor and nurture my inner masculine, I invite you to embark on your own journey of self-discovery. Consider the balance of energies within you and how they manifest in your daily life. Embrace both the masculine and feminine aspects of yourself, recognizing that each plays a vital role in your overall well-being. By fostering a harmonious relationship between these energies, you can navigate life with greater ease, authenticity, and grace.
If you want to learn more about your inner polarities reach out to me or book the Polarity Workshop.
Love,
Tina
