Your Inner Feminine: How I discovered my inner Goddess

For as long as I can remember, I have pride myself on discipline, focus, and resilience. I structured every aspect of my life, whether at work, in my personal relationships, or even in my self-care routines, everything had a rational behind. I remember the feeling of having to be productive, even in my free time, listening to podcasts that would educate, reading a personal development book as I was traveling or doing business calls while walking. I was constantly striving for productivity and excellence. While the masucline energy, and thus these traits have always come quite natural to me, I also believed that embodying these qualities was a necessity to be recognized and respected in my societal bubble that rewarded action over introspection and achievement over authenticity.

At the same time I felt that there is more, I felt unbalanced without even knowing what that meant, I felt anxious and restless because beneath this carefully curated exterior, there was a part of me that felt restricted, unseen, and unfulfilled. Despite my outward success, I felt a disconnect from my inner self. I asked myself about 3 years ago for the first time - Who am I outside of my work?

On my search to answer that question I went down various paths into altered states of consciousness, mindfulness practices, lifestyle changes, prioritised my health, studied, journaled, worked with a coach, spent a lot of time in introspection.. and eventually learned, that beneath that structure and control, was my Inner Feminine, qualities I had subconsciously rejected.
She was ready to be unleashed.

Discovering My Inner Feminine

The journey to uncover my inner feminine was not straightforward. It was a slow awakening that required me to confront deeply ingrained beliefs about femininity. From a young age, like many of us, I was conditioned to associate feminine qualities with weakness, passivity, dependency and emotionality. This was emphasized in the way I grew up. The men in my family, intelligent, successful, independent, assertive, but also humble, have been the north star for me. Embodying the masculine qualities just like them, I made them proud by being the first one in the family to go to university. Everybody always said that “I will step into my father’s shoes”, making me believe that his shoes were the more desirable ones than my mum's - let alone not even consider that there was the option of making my own shoes. Additionally, I have had an on-and-off difficult relationship with my mum, triggering each other a lot, feeling the need to escape her, and feeling partially also very responsible for her wellbeing.

The more I delved into tantric philosophy, the more I realized that my understanding of femininity was not only incomplete but also skewed. In Tantra, the feminine energy is not weak; she is Shakti, the divine force of creation, intuition, and emotional intelligence. She is wild, untamed, and deeply connected to her body and the universe around her. She - the goddess that I never even dreamed about.

Embracing this perspective was sooo liberating. I learned to embrace vulnerability, sensitivity, receptivity, and intuition—all qualities I had subconsciously deemed less valuable… and most importantly also connect to my sensuality & sexuality in ways that I had not done before because there was subconsciously a lot of shame & fear attached to that too. This is related to a lot of the shadow work I did regarding my sexuality… which will deserve its own blog article.

Building a Relationship with My Body

Connecting with my inner feminine also meant developing a deeper relationship with my body. In Tantra, the body is a sacred temple, a vessel for experiencing earthly and spiritual pleasures. This was a radical shift from my previous approach, where I treated my body as a tool to achieve goals, often ignoring its need for rest and pushing my limits. Note: there is nothing wrong with pushing limits, I still love to push my body, however, I was so disconnected that I did not listen when it demanded rest or when my cycle would have needed another approach.

Tantric practices encouraged me to tune into my body’s sensations and rhythms. One meaningful practice for me was breast and womb massages, performed with deep reverence and love for myself. This simple act became a profound ritual of self-love, helping me cultivate a deeper connection with my body. I also began incorporating dance into my routine, moving freely, intuitively and expressively, through which, I discovered a newfound freedom and joy in my body, one that was not tied to performance or appearance but rooted in pure expression and pleasure.

Another pillar to this was the tantric meditation practices which involved aspects of breathwork, drastically increasing sensation in the body, movement & “light” meditation which is a very embodied practiced compared to the most commonly spread meditation practice of cultivating awareness.

Unleashing Sexual Energy

As I deepened my connection with my body, I began to notice a significant shift in my sexual energy. In Tantra, sexual energy is viewed as a potent creative force, a manifestation of the divine feminine energy that has the power to heal, transform, and create. For years, I had suppressed my sexual energy, viewing it as something to be either controlled, performed or hidden. But through my tantric practices, I learned to embrace it fully.

Stay tuned for the blog post about which tantric practices can support you in unleashing your sexual energy.

The Divine Feminine in Daily Life

Connecting with my inner feminine influenced other areas of my life. I learned to receive, whether it was compliments, help, or love, and found a greater ability to surrender and let go, trusting that life would unfold as it should rather than trying to control every outcome. In my relationships, I began to express my needs and boundaries more clearly and realized my most authentic desires from a partnership.

Closing Thoughts

Discovering my inner feminine has been a deeply transformative journey, one that has brought me closer to my true self and allowed me to experience life with greater depth and richness. I invite you to explore your own inner feminine, develop a loving relationship with your body, and unleash the incredible power of your sexual energy. Remember, this journey is not about abandoning the masculine but about integrating and balancing both energies within you. Embrace your inner goddess (this also is a shoutout to men!), and let her guide you to a life of greater joy, freedom, and fulfilment.

With love,
Tina